Being told I am brave is weird to me. Do I know that it’s
pretty out there to just up and tell everyone my story? Yeah, but my reason for
telling my story is to inspire and help others. I hope that by sharing my story
that the girl who just read it and realized that her story is also abuse might
seek help or that the girl who has been hiding from deal with her abuse might
seek help. You see for me I honestly didn’t realize that what was taking place
was actually abuse. It had happened for so long that it was just part of who I
was. I remember the moment I realized it was abuse and not a normal
relationship. I remember sitting in a health class and my jaw just dropped to
the ground I am so sure.
The topic of sex,
good touch-bad touch, and strangers should be talked about in a home, often. It
is way too taboo of a subject! We must take a stand in our homes to teach and educate
our children so they will then know right from wrong and stop the abuse cycle.
The cycle of abuse is disturbing, if you are abused you are the one who is a perpetrator
to someone later one and so forth. I have a sense of gratitude that the abuse
happened to me so that I could stop that cycle and in our family that would be
the end of our cycle. Now that seems like a lot to take on for someone who has
had their entire childhood taken away from them but, dangit I think it is worth
it to have those future children protected. We must find it in our hearts, thoughts
and words to protect our homes and extended family members.
In my last post I had a lot of messages and comments about
wishing they would have known, wishing they could have stopped it etc. This is
the key friends, you cannot feel bad and you cannot wish away what happened to
me but, what you can do is talk to your children, grand-children, students and
friends. This is what will protect the future, talking about the hush hush
topic of sexual abuse and really any abuse!
Everyone knows somebody whether they know it or not who has
been affected by abuse, who has had their entire life patterned around this. I
sometimes joke “what lines did I stand in, up in Heaven accepting all of these different
trials and challenges” but, they are mine. They have made me become who I am
today and I am grateful. With all of those trials and challenges that I
accepted I have been blessed in infinite amounts!
I hope that I don’t lose friends for talking about this
subject. If it makes you uncomfortable, that’s okay- you don’t have to read my
blog. I challenge you to at least talk about it more in your homes, to be open
when your child has an anger issue or any sort of ongoing behavioral issue. I
hope that if you have issues of any sort of abuse that you will seek help.
People care and love for you. You have not been put in the World alone and you
cannot deal with it alone.
I have found such an amazing network of friends that I can
run to in those times of need. Not everyone ‘gets it’ and that’s okay. Find
those who do and surround ourselves with them. We can stop the abuse cycle for
our families and families to come!
Lots of love~
Katy
